


Memories stuck on repeat

by jellyfishpikachu



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, Blind Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, Brief Vomiting, But mostly fluff, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Angst, Grumpy Old Men, Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Mild Gore, Nicknames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14263374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishpikachu/pseuds/jellyfishpikachu
Summary: Yet another visit from the Reaper, and Jack is tired of guessing the reasons why.(The record won't stop skipping, and the lies just won't stop slipping.)





	Memories stuck on repeat

A gunshot echoed through the narrow alleyway. The Deadlock grunt swayed on his feet and tried to talk, but could only make wet, garbled noises. Shards of teeth and a bloody pulp that used to be his tongue drooled out of his mouth, into the fluorescent blue of his tattoos. He dropped to the floor with a gurgling sob. Jack aimed between his eyes and fired again, and the grunt fell silent.

Jack tossed the gun taken from one of the other Deadlock members aside. Leaning back against the wall behind him, he slid to the floor with a pained grunt, clutching his bleeding stomach. One of the bastards brought a knife to a gunfight.

A rumbling, unearthly voice echoed from his left. “Getting sloppy,” they said, startling Jack. A cowled figure stepped out of the shadows and tossed him his pulse rifle— he’d dropped it at some point during the fight.

Jack caught it, breathing out a weak laugh. “Getting old, more like.”

Reaper— no, _Gabriel_ snorted. “No getting about it,” he said as he knelt beside him.

“You’re older than me,” Jack said, rolling his eyes beneath his visor.

Gabriel shrugged and didn’t respond, clawed hands reaching for the ripped and bloody front of Jack’s jacket. “Goddamned tacky,” he muttered under his breath.

Jack rolled his eyes again. He seemed to do that around Gabriel a lot these days. “You should see what you’re wearing then.”

“Least I accept how edgy I am,” Gabriel said, and Jack winced when he peeled his shirt up away from his wound.

Jack huffed. “Fuck off, I’m not that edgy.”

Gabriel shook his head and reached into the inside of his own jacket. He pulled out a biotic field, which he set next to Jack and activated. Jack squeezed his eyes shut and hissed when he felt his flesh knit itself back together, but the tension left his body as the pain faded. Jack said nothing after it was done, instead watching Gabriel.

It didn’t used to be like this.

The thought made Jack’s bones ache and left a bitter taste in his mouth. It really didn’t used to be like this; the time after fights was always a celebration, even if one of them was injured. They’d always laugh and joke while they stitched each other up— it helped take their minds off the gore and the screams. Even the banter earlier had felt stilted and rehearsed compared to what it used to be… maybe it was how different their voices were now. It was quiet after some battles back then too, of course; they would cling to each other and listen to each others’ breathing to remind themselves that they were _alive_. That silence was nothing like now. This was too heavy, decades of harsh words and arguing weighing it down until Jack felt like he couldn’t breathe under it. He wondered if Gabriel felt that way too.

He wondered if Gabriel felt anything for him anymore, or if he kept doing this out of some twisted sense of obligation.

Jack sighed. His whole life these days seemed to be represented by his relationship with Gabriel now— colorless and bland compared to what it used to be. Cold and lonely beds, nowhere he could call home… no one he could even show his face to anymore. Long dead though Jack Morrison may be, his face was still public property.

In front of him, Gabriel shifted like he was about to get up. Jack scrambled for something to say to keep him around a little longer. “Y’know, you should really stop doing this,” he said. It was supposed to be a joke, but it came out quiet and tired.

Gabriel paused. “Probably,” he said after a few seconds. Jack wished that he could see under that mask of his; he still didn’t know what Gabriel looked like now. Then again, Gabriel didn’t know what he looked like anymore either.

“We’re not fighting for the same side anymore,” Jack said— a reminder for them both.

Gabriel’s hands curled in his lap, claws glinting from what weak light managed to travel the distance from the street. “We could be.”

Jack clenched his jaw. “You know how I feel about that,” he said, a little harsher than necessary.

Gabriel nodded, though his shoulders slumped. “I know.”

Jack nodded as well, then took a deep breath. “...Why _do_ you keep doing this?” he asked. He tried not to think about how familiar that question had become.

Gabriel didn’t respond for a long moment. “What do you mean?” he said as if he didn’t already know what he was talking about.

Still, Jack humored him. “You show up after I get into a fight, you patch me up, you leave. You’ve done it probably a dozen times now, and I want to know why.”

Gabriel shrugged. “You’re seeing patterns where they shouldn’t be,” he said, standing up.

“I was hoping that at this point you’d be as tired of lies as I am, Gabriel.”

Gabriel froze. Even through his mask, Jack could feel his stare. They avoided saying each others’ names as much as possible. “I’m not—”

“You are,” Jack said, standing up so they were at the same height. “No more avoiding the question, no more making up some shitty excuse and leaving. Just tell me.”

Gabriel growled, a few wisps of smoke curling up from his broad shoulders. Then, he sighed. “...You can’t even guess?”

Jack crossed his arms. “I’ve been doing that. Don’t like where guessing games take me.”

“Just don’t ask,” Gabriel said, sounding like he was grinding his teeth.

“No, I’m tired of this shit. Every time I even come close to getting any answers, you leave, and I’m sick and fucking tired of it. So either tell me or I’ll—”

“Or you’ll what, kill me? You know that doesn’t work.”

Jack stared at him, then let out an angry breath through his nose. “That was low.”

“But not as low as you asking me something I clearly don’t want to answer?” Gabriel said, plumes of inky smoke billowing from his body now.

Jack looked away, clenching his fists. Guess he just had to accept that Gabriel always appearing to stitch up his wounds didn’t mean what he wanted it to. “Leave then.”

“Really, you’re telling me to never come back because I won’t answer your question?” Gabriel said, mocking.

Jack glowered at him. “Yeah, I fucking am.”

Gabriel snorted. “Didn’t know you were that eager to… get rid of me.”

“I’m not, but you always seem eager to leave, so why don’t you do it now?” Jack said, taking a step towards him.

Gabriel didn’t back down; he never would without a fight. Jack remembered when that was endearing. “You can’t tell me what to do— you’re not Strike Commander anymore. Hell, you’re not even my _boyfriend_ anymore.”

Jack’s throat tightened. “I just want to know why you keep visiting me. Why’re you making this so difficult?”

Gabriel’s shoulders were tense. “You don’t want to know.”

“You don’t get to make decisions for me.”

“Trust me, it’s just— I can’t go through this again—”

“Go through _what_ , Gabriel? ‘Cause it seems to me that you keep making us go through this same shit over and—”

“I can’t stop loving you, okay?” Gabriel snapped, his voice breaking.

Jack stared at him in shocked silence, but Gabriel ignored him, continuing to speak. “I tried to stop, but I can’t. I couldn’t stop loving you when we broke up, I couldn’t stop when I thought you were dead, I can’t even stop myself _now_ . So yeah, I keep showing up to put you back together when you get yourself hurt. Because you’re _always_ getting yourself hurt ‘cause of that stupid hero complex of yours that won’t fucking die, and I get so worried about you that I have to make sure you’re alright sometimes. I know we’re on opposite sides of this godforsaken battlefield now, but it turns out that doesn’t matter to me as much as you do. Are you fucking happy now, Jack?”

The last sentence of his tirade echoed through the bloodied alley. Jack continued to stare at him, shaken and pale. The only thing he could say was his name. “Gabriel…”

“I don’t want your fucking pity.”

Jack took a deep breath, trying to collect himself. “This… isn’t pity,” he said, quiet.

“Then what is this?” Gabriel demanded.

“This is me wanting you to take that mask off.”

Gabriel stared at him. “...What the fuck? Why?”

“So I can kiss your stupid face.”

Gabriel stood there for a long moment, not saying anything. “You… still want to?” he said, sounding uncertain. “Even after I said—”

“Gabe,” Jack said with an amused snort, “I was kinda being an ass. And I’ve tried to stop loving you too— I’m tired of it. So please, just… take off your mask.”

Gabriel let out a laugh of disbelief. Jack had forgotten how much he’d missed his laughter. “This is a really bad idea, like, _really_ bad. You know that, right?”

“Not my worst, though.”

“Definitely not,” Gabriel said with a nod and a chuckle. He reached up and took off his mask, hood falling around his shoulders.

Jack’s breath hitched. The years he thought Gabriel had been dead— and the years after that when he thought Gabriel would never let him see his face again— hit him all at once. Despite everything, it was still Gabriel... mostly. His hair had turned salt-and-pepper at some point, his skin was ashen, and he’d gotten more scars. His eyes, though… they weren’t the same beautiful dark brown he’d missed so much. Empty eye sockets looked back at him, pinpricks of red where Gabriel’s pupils would be. A network of bulbous black veins branched out from the edges, which pulsed to the rhythm of a heartbeat, pushing dull red light into his skull. Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes, and he couldn’t help the soft, wounded noise that escaped him.

“I know,” Gabriel murmured, a thin trail of smoke escaping between his lips when his tongue touched the roof of his mouth. His voice was softer, no longer that harsh growl without his mask on. “My face isn’t exactly pretty anymore.”

“Was it ever?” Jack said with a humorless snort.

Gabriel gave him a small, shaky smile. “Nah, you and I both know I was always the pretty one out of the two of us— I’m glad you can finally claim that title though,” he said. “But… now it’s your turn to take off your mask, Jackie. I’m gonna have a hard time wiping away your tears with that ugly thing on.”

Jack sniffled. “Least mine doesn’t look like a fucking skull, you weirdo,” he mumbled, reaching up for the fasteners of his visor. He’d been dreading taking it off. Jack kept his eyes fixed on Gabriel as he took off his visor, and watched as Gabriel’s figure blurred until he was indistinguishable from their surroundings. He instantly missed being able to see Gabriel’s face, different though it was now.

Jack heard a clatter that he assumed was Gabriel’s mask falling to the ground. Then he heard him take a step forward, the movement slow. “Those scars… they’re from Zürich, aren’t they?”

“Of course they are,” Jack said, sighing.

“...You weren’t supposed to get hurt in that.”

“But I did.”

The blur that was Gabriel shifted, then paused. “And your eyes?”

“Can’t see a thing without that visor.”

“...That from Zürich too?” Gabriel asked, sounding tired.

Jack looked away and didn’t respond. Neither of them spoke for a solid minute; the air between them felt heavy again. “You’re definitely the pretty one now,” Gabriel said, startling a laugh from Jack.

“In my book, I was always the pretty one,” Jack said with a crooked smile.

There was a grin in Gabriel’s voice now. “You were in denial then, Jackass.”

The use of that old nickname brought back far too many memories, and Jack swallowed, looking down and trying to push them away. Gabriel sighed. “You always did get too caught up in your own head,” he said, and Jack could imagine his fond smile.

He was about to respond, then jumped when he felt Gabriel’s hand touch his cheek. It was missing the cold steel of his claws and the fabric of his glove, which Jack was thankful for. His hand was warm— almost feverishly so— but the feeling of the rough skin of Gabriel’s palm against his cheek was so familiar it made Jack shudder and close his eyes, leaning into it. His visor fell out of his hand to join Gabriel’s on the floor.

Gabriel’s hand drew him forward, and Jack followed it. When their lips met, Jack all but whimpered. He threw his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders and pulled him close, fueled by the desperate ache in his chest. Kissing Gabriel felt like coming home.

Jack felt a shudder go through Gabriel before his other hand came to rest on the small of his back, fingers digging in and pulling Jack flush against him. Jack’s fingers tangled in Gabriel’s hair, and he let out a quiet moan against his lips. He was all too aware of just how long it had been since he’d let _anyone_ touch him, let alone Gabriel.

Gabriel broke the kiss, their noses bumping into each other a bit as he touched their foreheads together. “Damn boy scout, it’s been too long since we’ve done that,” he said. He sounded breathless, though they hadn’t kissed for very long.

Jack laughed. “Agreed,” he said, and maybe he sounded a little breathless too.

Neither of them spoke for a while after that. Jack clung to Gabriel a little tighter than necessary, and he felt Gabriel do the very same. Jack couldn’t tell what Gabriel was thinking anymore— too much time apart and the loss of his vision prevented that— but he had the feeling Gabriel was doing the same thing he was. Marveling at the fact that he could touch and kiss him again, and mourning the time they could have been doing this instead of avoiding and pining for each other.

“I’m sorry for the things I said earlier,” Gabriel said, quiet. “I was just bitter, and frustrated at myself—”

“I get it, Gabe,” Jack said with a tired smile. “Trust me… I get it.”

Gabriel sighed and nodded. “I know. I’m glad we can have this now, at least.”

Jack closed his eyes and swallowed. “...Do we really have this? We’re still on opposite sides.”

“And here I thought that didn’t matter to you anymore.”

“It doesn’t,” Jack said, kissing him again. “It’s just… how is this gonna work, Gabe?”

Gabriel sighed again and looked away. “You could join—”

“No,” Jack said with a growl, “I’m not exactly working with the law anymore, but I’m not joining those fucking terrorists. Hell, I want most of them dead.”

“I know, I just… had to ask one more time,” Gabriel said, combing his fingers through Jack’s hair. The movement paused for a moment, like he wanted to add something, then continued as if he’d thought better of it. Jack decided not to push him at the moment.

Jack sighed and leaned into it like a cat, slowly relaxing again. “I still don’t get why you’re working for them… even as a merc,” he mumbled.

Jack could almost feel Gabriel roll his eyes. “You don’t have to understand it, boy scout.”

“I didn’t become an eagle scout for you to disrespect me like this.”

“My apologies, _eagle scout_.”

“That’s better.”

Jack couldn’t fight back his smile anymore when Gabriel started snickering. Gabriel let his head drop onto Jack’s shoulder as his laughter trailed off, and Jack giggled when he nuzzled his neck. “Y’know,” Gabriel said against his skin, “I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

“Why’s that?” Jack said, playing with his hair.

Jack felt Gabriel smile. “Well… if we can still make each other laugh after everything, then I think we can figure out how to make this work.”

Jack bit his lip, heart melting a little. “...That’s really fucking sappy Gabe.”

“Fuck off, I’m old. I’m allowed to be a bit of a sap.”

“A _bit_?”

“You heard me. Besides, you like all that sappy shit.”

Jack snorted and raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, but you’d never admit it,” Gabriel said, kissing his cheek. “But I see the way you always hide a smile whenever I do cheesy stuff. You even did it just now.”

“That… doesn't mean anything,” Jack said, blushing.

Gabriel laughed and rubbed their noses together. “Sure it doesn’t.”

Jack grumbled and kissed him to shut him up. He felt Gabriel smile against his lips, which made Jack smile in turn and pull away, shaking his head in amusement.

“You’re staying at that broken down old house on the outskirts of Dorado, right?” Gabriel asked, his voice soft. “North of here, close to Catalina Cantera?”

Jack stared at him. “Uh… yeah, but how the hell did you know that?”

“I know you. You haven’t changed much, Jackie.”

Jack shook his head but changed the subject, not wanting to argue anymore tonight. “We should head back, it’ll be long past sunrise by the time we—”

“We don’t need to rush,” Gabriel replied.

He sounded so sure of himself Jack had to roll his eyes. “We don’t need to rush to make it to the other side of Dorado by dawn, huh?”

“Well maybe if you keep up that backtalk it’ll take longer.”

“Well maybe if I keep this up you’ll stop being an idiot. And you’re calling it _backtalk_ now, really? Damn, and here I thought I was an old man.”

“We’re both old men, now shut the fuck up.”

“Make me.”

This made Gabriel pause. One of his hands moved to the collar of Jack’s shirt, gripping it tightly. Jack swallowed and licked his lips, fixated on the way the heat from Gabriel’s hand felt through the thin cotton. Then Gabriel let go of his shirt and stepped back. “Maybe once we’re out of the alley full of corpses, sunshine.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Ass.”

“I have a really nice one, I agree,” Gabriel said, and there was the sound of movement before he pressed Jack’s visor into his hands.

Jack couldn’t help a sigh of relief when he clicked his visor back on. He blinked a few times as his vision refocused, and the first thing he saw was the crooked smile on Gabriel’s face. The sight of it still sent Jack’s heart hammering against his ribcage, just like when they were young. Goddammit, he really was predictable.

Gabriel’s own mask was in his hand, though he made no move to put it on. “You ready to go now that you got your eyes back on, eagle scout?”

Jack smiled, glad he still got to look at him. “Yeah Gabe, I’m ready. You gonna tell me how we’re getting back so fast now?”

“Do you trust me?” Gabriel said, offering his hand.

Jack stared down at it for a long moment, then put his hand in Gabriel’s. “With my life.”

Gabriel chuckled and tugged him towards him. “Dunno why you still do,” he said, then kissed his forehead. “This is gonna be disorienting, but… just try to stay close, okay?”

“Uh… okay?” Jack said, staring at him with his brow furrowed. “What exactly do you mean by—”

Before Jack could finish, the world around him convulsed and twisted before fading away. His body became something other than itself, lacking the boundaries it had before. He no longer had any awareness of the world around him, either… no, that wasn’t quite right. It was more like there was something Jack _could_ know but didn’t know how to access yet. This form’s senses were utterly alien to him. He billowed outward as a cloud of smoke, nearly dissipating before he felt Gabriel curl around him, guiding him forward. He always seemed to feel Gabriel’s presence (or lack thereof) more clearly than anything else.

Jack let Gabriel lead him, but he was uneasy despite his earlier declaration of trust. Not because it was Gabriel, but because everything he’d learned since the fall of Overwatch— and even before that— had turned Jack away from letting someone else take the lead, or from trusting anyone at all.

Gabriel’s chuckle echoed through the air. Or through Jack’s mind itself, which was too weird to think about for very long. _“Settle down, Jackie. Your badass vigilante reputation’ll make it through this somehow.”_

If Jack had a physical form, he’d probably trip over his own feet now. “ _Whatthefuckyoucantalkhowtheshit—_ ”

Gabriel laughed. _“Yeah, it’s some kind of telepathy,”_ he said, curling further around him.

Jack tried to nod, though he didn’t think his physical form responded. They continued on in silence for what seemed like forever, though it was probably only a few minutes. It was difficult to tell, with all his senses gone save for Gabriel’s presence. It was just when the dark silence was starting to become claustrophobic that Gabriel ‘spoke’ again. _“We’re here.”_

Jack didn’t even have time to process what Gabriel said before the world seized again. He could feel his molecules reform— first his bones, then organs, muscles, skin… everything else that made up his body. It was instantaneous, over before his heart could even start beating again. Jack swayed and collapsed, barely managing to get his mask off before throwing up on the ground in front of him.

He felt Gabriel’s hand rub between his shoulders, but it was distant. Even though he couldn’t access any of that smoke form’s senses, he still had to adjust to being back in his own body. “Sorry eagle scout, I probably should’ve warned you better…”

“You fucking think?” Jack wheezed out, voice reedy.

Gabriel snorted and helped him to his feet. His hands were wide and covered in scars, but steady. Some of the scars were new, but the older ones were as familiar to Jack as his own. He focused on those to center himself. He knew he kept comparing everything to what it had been before; he couldn’t help it. It would take some time for those comparisons to end.

Gabriel’s hands tightened their grip on him. “Jackie? You okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m good,” he said with a smile, and Gabriel kissed his forehead before leading him inside, only pausing to pick up Jack’s visor for him.

Jack let Gabriel lead him, yawning. He was getting too old for so much happening in one day.

Gabriel chuckled. “Tired?”

“Yeah, and it’s mostly your fault,” Jack grumbled.

Gabriel huffed out a laugh and gently pushed him into the bathroom, pressing his visor into his hands. “There’s the bathroom, go brush your teeth before bed. Your breath smells awful.”

Jack rolled his eyes and did as he was told. He also took off his sweaty and bloodied clothes, leaving only his boxers on. Usually, he’d also take a shower, but he was too tired to even think about it. He came back out of the bathroom to find Gabriel in a similar state of dress, lounging on the bed. Jack snorted and rolled his eyes, taking off his visor and setting it on the nightstand before crawling into bed next to him. It was small for two super soldiers, but they’d shared smaller before. Jack turned towards Gabriel, then hesitated, swallowing. Would Gabriel still want to cuddle and chat until they both fell asleep, or—

“You really need to stop getting lost in your own head,” Gabriel said as he pulled him into his arms, “I might have to start calling you space cadet otherwise.”

Jack blushed and sighed, relaxing into him. “I prefer your million other nicknames for me, thanks.”

Gabriel chuckled, yawning. “You make it easy.”

“How?” Jack said, echoing his yawn against his neck.

“Just being you,” Gabriel mumbled, tracing his back muscles with his fingers.

Jack smiled, nuzzling him. He felt his heart squeeze, though not in a bad way. He’d missed this. Sighing, he let his eyes close as the day’s events caught up with him. Before he could drift off, however, Gabriel spoke again. “I don’t like that you’re all alone out there Jackie,” he mumbled.

Jack sighed— he’d hoped they had gotten past such difficult conversations, at least for tonight. He considered pretending to be asleep for a moment, then decided against it. “You could change that. I don’t have to be alone all the time.”

“You know I can’t leave Talon,” Gabriel said, voice quiet. “Not yet, at least.”

Jack bit his lip. “I know, Gabi.”

He felt Gabriel swallow, arms tightening around him. “Still… I don’t want you to be alone anymore. You need backup.”

“Well, what’re you gonna do about it?” Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Gabriel fell silent, and Jack felt his lips curl thoughtfully against the top of his head.

Jack groaned and pulled back to glower at him. “If you’re gonna bring this up this late, then you’d best just fucking say whatever you’re debating on saying.”

Gabriel stared at him for a long moment, then huffed out a laugh. “You know me too well,” he said, kissing his nose. They both paused and marveled at that fact for a long moment, before Gabriel continued, “Winston sent out a recall. He’s bringing Overwatch back from that shallow grave it burned down into.”

Jack frowned. “Yeah, I know… Angie sent it to me. Wasn’t planning on getting involved with that trainwreck again.”

“A trainwreck you won’t be responsible for,” Gabriel pointed out quietly, then sighed. “It’s just… something to think about, Jack.”

Jack nodded and curled up closer to him, pensive. Could he be surrounded by all those reminders of his worst failure, every day of his life? But he’d missed working in a team, and having someone to watch his back like Gabriel had said. And no one would even have to know who he was, at least not yet…

“I’ll check it out,” Jack mumbled. “No guarantees I’ll stay.”

Gabriel’s body relaxed fully, and Jack felt his smile as he kissed his forehead. “Thanks, eagle scout.”

Jack grumbled, yawning. “M’ just doing it to see what kinda disaster they’re gonna brew up. And to keep you from bringing it up anymore.”

If he had eyes, Gabriel would probably roll them. “Go the fuck to sleep,” he said, kissing his nose.

Jack giggled. “Sir yes sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> Second Overwatch fic is now written! See, I told you guys I'd write another... eventually. Approaching their relationship dynamic and shared history for the first time was a bit intimidating, but fun. Please let me know what you guys think <3


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